Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.

The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

I've decided to skip 'holistic'. I don't know what it means, and I don't want to know. That may seem extreme, but I followed the same strategy toward 'Gestalt' and the 'Twist', and lived to tell the tale.

I'm in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?