Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.