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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Marilyn Monroe

Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Albert Einstein

German-born mathematician and theoretical physicist.

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Funny Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

139

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

G. K. Chesterton

104

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Winston Churchill

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Albert Einstein

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

Charles M. Schulz

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Winston Churchill

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Mark Twain

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Relationship Quote

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.

- Sam Slick

Motivational Quote

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.

- Lou Holtz

Wise Quote

No man is poor who has a Godly mother.

- Abraham Lincoln

Friendship Quote

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.

- Euripides

Life Quote

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

- Oscar Wilde

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