Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.
Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends.