Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Never have a companion who casts you in the shade.
Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.