Funny Quotes

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Marilyn Monroe

Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Albert Einstein

German-born mathematician and theoretical physicist.

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Funny Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

136

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

G. K. Chesterton

102

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Winston Churchill

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Albert Einstein

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Winston Churchill

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.

Charles M. Schulz

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Mark Twain

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Change Quote

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.

- Maya Angelou

Love Quote

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

Life Quote

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

- Mae West

Funny Quote

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

- Yogi Berra

Understanding Quote

To understand is hard. Once one understands, action is easy.

- Sun Yat-sen

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