Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.
Never have a companion who casts you in the shade.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.