Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.
Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.
Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.