Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it's letting go.
Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.
The friendship that can come to an end, never really began.
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.