Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.
The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice.
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.