Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Here is the secret of inspiration: tell yourself that thousands and tens of thousands of people, not very intelligent and certainly no more intelligent than the rest of us, have mastered problems as difficult as those that now baffle you.
Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
The road to success is always under construction