Showing: 1 - 10 Funny Quotes of 18
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it's all that matters.
You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Before God we are all equally wise-equally foolish.
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.