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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Love Quote
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Relationship Quote
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
Life Quote
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
Inspirational Quote
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Motivational Quote
Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.
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