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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Change Quote
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
Age Quote
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Funny Quote
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
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