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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Violence Quote
Violence never settles anything right: apart from injuring your own soul, it injures the best cause. It lingers on long after the object of hate has disappeared from the scene to plague the lives of those who have employed it against their foes.
Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Success Quote
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.
Motivational Quote
If you start by promising what you don't even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work towards getting it.
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