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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Marriage Quote
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Life Quote
The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it's all that matters.
Life Quote
I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.
Wisdom Quote
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
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