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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Relationship Quote
A man keeps another's secret better than he does his own. A woman, on the other hand, keeps her own better than another's.
Funny Quote
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
Life Quote
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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