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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Relationship Quote
A man keeps another's secret better than he does his own. A woman, on the other hand, keeps her own better than another's.
Inspirational Quote
You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Relationship Quote
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
Life Quote
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
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