Funny Quotes :: Page 2

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Marilyn Monroe

Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Albert Einstein

German-born mathematician and theoretical physicist.

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Funny Quotes

Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Yogi Berra

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Golda Meir

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Rodney Dangerfield

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

Rodney Dangerfield

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Oscar Wilde

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H. L. Mencken

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

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Success Quote

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

- Bill Cosby

Dreams Quote

The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.

- Marilyn Monroe

Love Quote

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

- G. K. Chesterton

Motivational Quote

To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.

- Muhammad Ali

Relationship Quote

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.

- Sam Slick

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