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Funny Quotes
Showing: 11 - 18 Funny Quotes of 18
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Relationship Quote
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.
Life Quote
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
Motivational Quote
If you start by promising what you don't even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work towards getting it.
Happiness Quote
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
Life Quote
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
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