Just as our bread, mixed and baked, packaged and sold without benefit of accident or human frailty, is uniformly good and uniformly tasteless, so will our speech become one speech.

I know people who are so immersed in road maps that they never see the countryside they pass through, and others who, having traced a route, are held to it as though held by flanged wheels to rails.

Niagara Falls is very nice. I'm very glad I saw it, because from now on if I am asked whether I have seen Niagara Falls I can say yes, and be telling the truth for once.

The difficulty of course is that I like women. It is only wives I am in trouble with.

One can't be happy as I have been for very long. There's a law against it. I have worked hard and enjoyed my work and it is the punishment of man to hate his work. Sooner or later I will have work that I hate.

I learned that all of my manuscripts have been rejected three or four times since I last heard. It is a nice thing to know that so many people are reading my books. That is one way of getting an audience.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

No one wants advice - only corroboration.

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.