Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Showing: 1 - 5 Mitch Hedberg Quotes of 5

When someone hands you a flier it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Mitch Hedberg

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Mitch Hedberg

I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg

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Funny Quote

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin

People Quote

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

Life Quote

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

- Albert Einstein

Friendship Quote

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.

- Elbert Hubbard

Wisdom Quote

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

- Helen Keller

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