Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Showing: 1 - 5 Mitch Hedberg Quotes of 5

When someone hands you a flier it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Mitch Hedberg

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Mitch Hedberg

I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg

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Love Quote

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

Life Quote

The time we waste trying to find out what life is all about could be spent loving someone and finding out.

- Jack Harris

Funny Quote

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

- Albert Einstein

Life Quote

Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.

- John Lennon

Funny Quote

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

- Albert Einstein

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