Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Showing: 1 - 5 Mitch Hedberg Quotes of 5

When someone hands you a flier it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Mitch Hedberg

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Mitch Hedberg

I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg

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Relationship Quote

A man keeps another's secret better than he does his own. A woman, on the other hand, keeps her own better than another's.

- Jean de La Bruyere

Motivational Quote

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

- Audrey Hepburn

Funny Quote

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

- Phyllis Diller

Funny Quote

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

- Yogi Berra

Wisdom Quote

Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all.

- Carlos Castaneda

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