Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Showing: 1 - 5 Mitch Hedberg Quotes of 5

When someone hands you a flier it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Mitch Hedberg

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Mitch Hedberg

I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg

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Love Quote

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

Funny Quote

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin

Trust Quote

You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.

- Marilyn Monroe

Motivational Quote

The road to success is always under construction

- Lily Tomlin

Friend Quote

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

- Walter Winchell

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