Mitch Hedberg Quotes

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Famous American actress, model and singer.

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Showing: 1 - 5 Mitch Hedberg Quotes of 5

When someone hands you a flier it's like they're saying, "Here, you throw this away."

Mitch Hedberg

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

Mitch Hedberg

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

Mitch Hedberg

I got into an argument with my girlfriend inside a tent. A tent is not a good place for an argument. I tried to walk out on her and had to slam the flap.

Mitch Hedberg

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg

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Trust Quote

You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.

- Marilyn Monroe

Motivational Quote

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

- Dr. Seuss

Life Quote

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

- Oscar Wilde

Wisdom Quote

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

- Helen Keller

Funny Quote

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

- Phyllis Diller

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