Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

Always yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Premenstrual syndrome: just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

A critic is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased - he hates all creative people equally.

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.