The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him.

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out on the pleasure.

There was scarcely a woman alive, it seemed, who could resist the urge to haul men down onto beds, car seats, kitchen floors, dining-room tables, park grass, parlor sofas, or packing crates, entwine warm thighs around them, and pant in ecstasy.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

Grass is the least rewarding of all status symbols... The grass does nothing but drink money, exhaust energies, crush spirits, destroy sleep, create tensions and interfere with the watching of baseball games, and sprout insolent signs ordering humans to keep off it.

Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on "canned" laughter grafted to gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.