But a man who doesn't dream is like a man who doesn't sweat. He stores up a lot of poison.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it.

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.

When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip; and the whip is intended solely for self-flagellation.

I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm homosexual. I'm a genius. Of course, I could be all four of these dubious things and still be a saint. But I shonuf ain't no saint yet, nawsuh.

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.

Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade, just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself.

I was eleven, then I was sixteen. Though no honors came my way, those were the lovely years.

Great fury, like great whiskey, requires long fermentation.

It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California, you lose one point of IQ_ every year.