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Dave Barry Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Dave Barry Quotes of 16
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
What Women Want: to be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: tickets for the World Series.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say 'EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT' instead of 'RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES'.
Democracy: in which you say what you like and do what you're told.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
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Love Quote
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Inspirational Quote
You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Life Quote
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
People Quote
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Trust Quote
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
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