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Dave Barry Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Dave Barry Quotes of 16
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
What Women Want: to be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: tickets for the World Series.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say 'EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT' instead of 'RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES'.
Democracy: in which you say what you like and do what you're told.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.



Inspirational Quote
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.


Life Quote
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

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