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![Ralph Waldo Emerson Ralph Waldo Emerson](/images/photos/featured_authors/ralph_waldo_emerson.gif)
![Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe](/images/photos/featured_authors/marilyn_monroe.gif)
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Dave Barry Quotes
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Showing: 1 - 10 Dave Barry Quotes of 16
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
What Women Want: to be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: tickets for the World Series.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say 'EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT' instead of 'RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES'.
Democracy: in which you say what you like and do what you're told.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
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Life Quote
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
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Happiness Quote
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
Age Quote
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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