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Dave Barry Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Dave Barry Quotes of 16
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
What Women Want: to be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: tickets for the World Series.
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Socially prominent people are very fond of disease, because it gives them a chance to have these really elaborate charity functions, and the newspaper headlines say 'EVENING IN PARIS BALL RAISES MONEY TO FIGHT GOUT' instead of 'RICH PEOPLE AMUSE THEMSELVES'.
Democracy: in which you say what you like and do what you're told.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.


Diplomacy Quote
There are times when even the greatest tactician in diplomatic cunning is outclassed in his own game. It is then that he discovers that all that he thought he had gained is but loss, and that what is left of national honor and dignity is but the shadow of an illustrious past that is gone forever, or of a potentially great future that will never come.


Love Quote
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

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