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Demetri Martin Quotes

Showing: 1 - 4 Demetri Martin Quotes of 4
I like video games but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital'.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
I want to make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says, 'Go outside.'
Saying I'm sorry' is the same as saying 'I apologize'. Except at a funeral.
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Funny Quote
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.


Wise Quote
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.
Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Life Quote
Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends.

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