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Demetri Martin Quotes

Showing: 1 - 4 Demetri Martin Quotes of 4
I like video games but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital'.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
I want to make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says, 'Go outside.'
Saying I'm sorry' is the same as saying 'I apologize'. Except at a funeral.
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Friend Quote
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.


Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Funny Quote
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

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