The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.

Optimistic lies have such immense therapeutic value that a doctor who cannot tell them convincingly has mistaken his profession.

I occasionally swank a little because people like it; a modest man is such a nuisance.

The man with toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.

When I was young I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures, so I did ten times more work.

What really flatters a man is that you think him worth flattering.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.

The roulette table pays nobody except him who keeps it. Nevertheless, a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette wheels is unknown.

Don't order any black things. Rejoice in his memory; and be radiant ... Be patient with the poor people who will snivel: they don't know; and they think they will live for ever, which makes death a division instead of a bond.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.