Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman. It depends on how much happiness you can handle.

Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had Cupid's eczema. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

You can't help getting older but you don't have to get old.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

Don't stay in bed ... unless you make money in bed.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.