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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
We are all pre-cancerous.
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
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Truth Quote
The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.
Funny Quote
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Sad Quote
There are times when sorrow seems the only truth.
Life Quote
Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.
Motivational Quote
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
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