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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
We are all pre-cancerous.
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
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Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Life Quote
The most important thing is to enjoy your life-to be happy-it's all that matters.
Relationship Quote
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
Motivational Quote
To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.
Girls Quote
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
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