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George Carlin Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 George Carlin Quotes of 21
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
We are all pre-cancerous.
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
We will never be an advanced civilization as long as rain showers can delay the launching of a space rocket.
Marriage Quote
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Strength Quote
Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong. Sometimes it's letting go.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
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