Joan Rivers Quotes

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Joan Rivers Quotes

Showing: 1 - 10 Joan Rivers Quotes of 14

Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.

Joan Rivers

It would have been cheaper to have my DNA changed.

Joan Rivers

Just say no, no, no, no, no ... you'll get a much better price.

Joan Rivers

Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death.

Joan Rivers

My mother could make anybody feel guilty. She used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

Joan Rivers

A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

Joan Rivers

Never buy a fur from a veterinarian.

Joan Rivers

I said to my mother-in-law, 'My house is your house.' She said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Joan Rivers

I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.

Joan Rivers

Never floss a stranger.

Joan Rivers

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Relationship Quote

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly.

- Sam Slick

Funny Quote

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

- Phyllis Diller

Love Quote

I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.

- Anonymous

Love Quote

Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.

- Andy Warhol

Love Quote

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

- Woody Allen

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