Joan Rivers Quotes

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Famous American poet, essayist and philosopher.

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Famous American actress, model and singer.

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German-born mathematician and theoretical physicist.

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Joan Rivers Quotes

Showing: 11 - 14 Joan Rivers Quotes of 14

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

Joan Rivers

Two is company; three is fifty bucks.

Joan Rivers

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

Joan Rivers

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Life Quote

Count your age by friends, not years Count your life by smiles, not tears.

- John Lennon

Age Quote

Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.

- Albert Einstein

Funny Quote

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

- Yogi Berra

Marriage Quote

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

- Marilyn Monroe

Happiness Quote

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.

- Maxim Gorky

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