For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

We'll be right back.

Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

I'll be right back.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

If it wasn't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.