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Steven Wright Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Steven Wright Quotes of 21
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.'
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
How young can you die of old age?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I had a dream that all the victims of the Pill came back ... boy, were they mad.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.'
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Diplomacy Quote
There are times when even the greatest tactician in diplomatic cunning is outclassed in his own game. It is then that he discovers that all that he thought he had gained is but loss, and that what is left of national honor and dignity is but the shadow of an illustrious past that is gone forever, or of a potentially great future that will never come.
Sad Quote
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Love Quote
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
Happiness Quote
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is.
Life Quote
Life is a journey, not a destination.
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