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Steven Wright Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Steven Wright Quotes of 21
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.'
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
How young can you die of old age?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I had a dream that all the victims of the Pill came back ... boy, were they mad.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.'
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Age Quote
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.
Friendship Quote
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.
Funny Quote
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Marriage Quote
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Love Quote
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
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