Search Quotes
Search more than 36,000 Quotes by over 6,000 Authors.
Home Page
Quotes by Author
Quotes by Topic
Popular Quotes
Popular Authors
Submit a Quote
Steven Wright Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Steven Wright Quotes of 21
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.'
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
How young can you die of old age?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I had a dream that all the victims of the Pill came back ... boy, were they mad.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.'
Browse Page(s):
Search quotes
Funny Quote
My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.
Love Quote
Fantasy love is much better than Reality Love.
Success Quote
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.
Love Quote
One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.
Motivational Quote
The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
All quotations on this website are the property and copyright of their respective authors. All quotations are provided for educational and informational purposes only.
Copyright © 2011 LifeQuotesLib.com. All Rights Reserved.