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Steven Wright Quotes
Showing: 1 - 10 Steven Wright Quotes of 21
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.'
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
How young can you die of old age?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I had a dream that all the victims of the Pill came back ... boy, were they mad.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.'
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Funny Quote
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
Dreams Quote
The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.
Motivational Quote
The road to success is always under construction
Life Quote
You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.
Motivational Quote
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
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