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Steven Wright Quotes
Showing: 11 - 20 Steven Wright Quotes of 21
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
I lost a buttonhole.
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
About four years ago ... No, it was yesterday.
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birthmark until he was eight years old.
Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I bought a beach towel.
Friend Quote
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Life Quote
Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends.
Funny Quote
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
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