To feel keenly the poetry of a morning's roses, one has to have just escaped from the claws of this vulture which we call sickness.

Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to kindness and wisdom we make promises only; pain we obey.

There are two kinds of people; those who are always well and those who are always sick. Most of the evils of the world come from the first sort and most of the achievements from the second.

It is much more important to know what sort of patient has a disease than what sort of disease a patient has.

A cough is a symptom, not a disease. Take it to your doctor and he can give you something serious to worry about.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Much more is known about the stars than about rheumatism.

Fact One: Cataract surgery is simple, painless and (except with implants) risk free ... the whole procedure is common, routine and nothing to worry about. Fact Two: Fact One applies only to cataracts on the eyes in somebody else's head.

There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

Do not show your wounded finger for everything will knock up against it.