Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion ... Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

Your religion is what you do when the sermon is over.

There is not the least use preaching to anyone unless you chance to catch them ill.

It is usually when men are at their most religious that they behave with the least sense and the greatest cruelty.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children are smart.

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.