We love television because television brings us a world in which television does not exist. In fact, deep in their hearts, this is what the spuds crave most: a rich, new, participatory life.

Perhaps the crime situation would be improved if we could get more cops off television and onto the streets.

The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.'

For those wretched souls unable to watch Big Brother all day, here's what you missed: Maggot's fry-up, live coverage of which was so extensive I had time to count ninety-four beans on his plate.

There are times when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, seems to offer more entertainment possibilities than the TV set.

I made a pact with myself a long time ago: never watch anything stupider than you. It's helped me a lot.

It occurs to me that with all the television people watch, most of their acquaintances are actors.

One of television's mysterious powers is to give us the illusion of immediate presence, but, in fact, it gives us the world through a lens darkly.

Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world.

There is nothing more mysterious than a TV set left on in an empty room. It is even stranger than a man talking to himself or a woman standing dreaming at her stove. It is as if another planet is communicating with you.