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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Showing: 51 - 60 Ambrose Bierce Quotes of 125
Funeral, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Ghost, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.
Administration, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president.
Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Habit, n. A shackle for the free.
Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Meekness, n. Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
Occident, n. The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce." These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.
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Relationship Quote
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Life Quote
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
Relationship Quote
A woman we love rarely satisfies all our needs, and we deceive her with a woman whom we do not love.
Funny Quote
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Love Quote
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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