It took me years to work out the difference between net and gross. In meetings I just used to say, 'Tell me if it's good or bad news.'

Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.

Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules: never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise. Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.

The first thing to decide before you walk into any negotiation is what to do if the other fellow says 'no'.

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department.

Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from.

Never dump a good idea on a conference table. It will belong to the conference.

Some people find oil. Others don't.

Your business is to put me out of business.

Few great men could pass Personnel.