Philosophers are adults who persist in asking childish questions.

To be a real philosopher all that is necessary is to hate someone else's type of thinking.

Everyone should study at least enough philosophy and belles-lettres to make his sexual experience more delectable.

If everybody contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of cholera.

When I study philosophical works I feel I am swallowing something which I don't have in my mouth.

My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward.

My advice to you is not inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy.

I can, therefore, I am.

I reek, therefore I am.

I have a new philosophy. I am only going to dread one day at a time.