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Claustrophobia? It's a dreadful fear of Santa Claus.
The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
People who stare each other in the eye for sixty seconds straight will soon either be fighting or making love.
If you have to learn it from a self-help book, you may be beyond help.
Soderquist's Paradox: There are more horses' asses than horses.
The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
As we say in the sewer, time and tide wait for no man.
A psychotic thinks that 2 plus 2 makes 5. A neurotic KNOWS that 2 plus 2 makes 4 - he just can't stand it.
McGinn's Law: Just about everything takes longer than they say it does, except sex.
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Success Quote
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Age Quote
Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we are born.
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