The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred upon me. However, few escape that distinction.

Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers.

I was once asked if I wanted to be Pipe Smoker of the Year. I had to tell them I didn't smoke a pipe. They said, 'Oh, that doesn't matter.'

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand new Mercedes?

What I like about the Order of the Garter is that there is no damned merit about it.

I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say, 'Well done.' And to the 'C' students, I say, 'You, too, can be President of the United States.'

I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance than I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.

God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.

This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale's.