Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.

There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as "American."

We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

We [Americans] are the lavishest and showiest and most luxury-loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man-the biography of the man himself cannot be written.