Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.

God seems to have left the receiver off the hook, and time is running out.

In the absence of any other proof, the thumb alone would convince me of God's existence.

You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

A day will come when the European god of the nineteenth century will be classed with the gods of Olympus and the Nile.

I think of God in much the same way that I think of the Royal Family. If we didn't live in this toytown with princes and kings then we might make a better stab at being citizens.

There is not sufficient love and goodness in the world to permit us to give some of it away to imaginary beings.