I think sex education in schools is a wonderful idea, but I don't think the kids should be given homework.

Roses are red and ready for plucking, You're sixteen and ready for high school.

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

He moved his lips about her ears and neck as though in thirsting search of an erogenous zone. A waste of time, he knew from experience. Erogenous zones were either everywhere or nowhere.

Sleeping with the help are you? Well, as I say, 'What the hell, they're bending over anyway.'

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Germaine Greer once gave a lecture at Oxford, arguing that the female orgasm was not only a facet of gender tyranny but was also vastly overrated. A male student raised his hand. 'About that overrated orgasm,' he drawled. 'Won't you give a Southern boy another chance?' The speaker was a young Rhodes scholar called Bill Clinton.

Why do girls fake orgasms? Because they think we care.

If the bedroom were a kitchen, women would be crockpots and men would be microwaves.

Men perform oral sex like they drive. When they get there they refuse to ask for directions.