The happiest marriages are full of alternative lives, lived in the head, unknown to the partner.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

When a woman gets married it's like jumping into a hole in the ice in the middle of winter: you do it once, and you remember it the rest of your days.

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.

The fundamental trouble with marriage is that it shakes a man's confidence in himself, and so greatly diminishes his general competence and effectiveness. His habit of mind becomes that of a commander who has lost a decisive and calamitous battle. He never quite trusts himself thereafter.

If my wife has taught me anything, it's this: no matter what in the world I am doing, I should be doing it differently.

Every man can rule a shrew save he that has her.

The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late for supper and she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator.

If a woman doubts to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "Yes," she ought to say "No," directly.