Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, Please put a penny in the old man's hat; If you haven't got a penny, a ha' penny will do, If you haven't got a ha' penny, God bless you!

Some families think church is like a convention where you send a delegate-and it's usually Mother.

This was posted on a Bronx, New York, church bulletin board: "Do come in-Trespassers will be forgiven."

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances.

Seek not to reform every one's dial by your own watch.

A fine woman can do without fine clothes.

Cut your coat according to your cloth.

I spent a weekend at the beach and couldn't decide whether bikinis are getting smaller of girls are getting bigger.

What if my shirt is shabby and worn, it covers a warm heart.

You cannot strip a garment off a naked man.